HomeReturn Home
Web HostingUnlimited Options
SEO - Social Media Marketingimprove your web presence
Tips - Tutorials - AdvicePowerful help
SEO Marketingimprove your google ranking
ConnectivityBroadband & Leased Lines
Featured News // hatstand aardvark biscuit-barrel
can "hatstand aardvark biscuit-barrel" as a search term be number one on google?
in the good ole USA where they miss-spell words or completely use another name for the same thing the call a hatstand a "hatrack" or "hall tree"
A hatstand is a devise which people use to store hats on and sometimes some hatstands are designed to hold umbrellas.
During Queen Victorias reign we had the entrance hall introduced to the new large house beige developed and it became an important feature. More so the hatstand became an important part of the household as door salesmen could lave their calling card…
The hatstand also showed the family or house holders position in society and sometimes his wealth
However hatstand has other other meanings
a hatstand is a term used in Breakdacing and is part of the frozen headspin… which in a nutshell is when the breakdancer balances on their head and rotates their body without support… but don't try this without head protection other wise you could get like me .. no hair…
There is an excellent tutorial on the hatstand move on Flash Mavi
Feb 17th 2012
There is a hatstand in a beautiful garden of flowers on columbia road... i was almost reduced to tears when i saw it. londoners, check it out... the nice red brick flats, hackney road end.
for pure appreciation of a hatstand....
Feb 16th 2012
There’ s been a big bust up in the hatstand aardvark biscuit-barrel.
A Bandit called Rock Cake who was Crackers, hit a Penguin over the head with a Club,
Rock Cake then Tied Penguin to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Riband
Kidnapped Trophy and made a Breakaway in a Taxi.
The police say Rock Cake was last seen After Eight in Maryland, Hobnobbing
with a Ginger Nut.
Unfortunately they didn’t have a crumb of evidence so the Jammy Dodger got away!
Feb 17th 2012
the hatstand is a solitary creature always spending its useful life standing alone and aside from others usually in a corner
The only time they are in the company of others is when the hunt in packs at furniture stores….
Its no laughing matter they are usually all the same race..
some are demure and curvy, some are hard and wooden, others have a curly top on their bonce
the biggest open space where they flock is in Ikea… I am being serious they seem to breed here…
mind you the nasty horrible ones can be found in the used 99p stores
mind you I have seen the wrought iron ones all twisted and a good murder weapon if you play clued or fancy going on a murder mystery weekend
Feb 17th 2012
There is a hatstand appreciation society on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/groups/5378625485/
A hatstand is strange
for upon it hats we arrange
big ones small ones
from everyones sons
but now an aardvark
a strange looking creator one could remark
eating a termite and ant
is something some of us cant
Now the biscuit barrel
sounds like some kind of apparel
for it is indeed a coat
that keeps biscuits inside of note
but put the words together
and restrain them in a tether
hatstand aardvark biscuit-barrel
we should be able to pen a verse or carol
as I wondered along a path so lonely
i was looking for a friendly soul - oh if only
it had the makings of Narnia as I saw a hatstand
in the middle of nowhere looking so grand
the hatstand wooden frame so shiny from being waxed
full of hats and bonnets it made me so relaxed
reminded me of John Wayne in the Quiet Man
where everyone took a bonnet according to plan
out of the corner of my eye I saw a long pointed nose
could this be Pinocchio as so still it froze
then along came a little line of military ants
as if they where shouting their left right, left right chants
out came shooting a slender slim tongue
and to and fro it the tongue swung
as one by one the 50,000 ants where devoured
as all the ants military might were overpowered
after this amazing display from the aardvark
on the edge of this country park
lay down in the sun to rest
for the aardvark was full and felt well blessed
next to the hatstand I spied a metal object
which I thought I should inspect
it was when I opened it
i was overcome by the wonderful aroma it did transmit
for inside was the most wonderful ginger biscuits
and so as I was on a diet it became a battle wits
as I tried so hard not to eat one
but sadly I succumbed and ate them all under the beautiful sun
In the grass I too fell asleep as I lay down
i woke with a start and a frown
for I still had to get home
and on seeing the aardvark was awake i said shalom
there is nothing else to tell of this tale
I made my way home at the speed of a snail
wondering whatever happened to my ant eating friend
and who had left the biscuits which caused me to overextend
A hatstand, or not a hatstand, that is the question:
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The aardvarks and biscuit-barrels of outrageous Fortune,
Or to eat a mountain of cookies,
And by eating them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That eating biscuits? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of biscuits, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off to the hatstand,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the aardvarks,
The Oppressor's wrong, the proud man's Contumely,
The long tongue of the aardvark, eating termites
The insolence of a hatstand, and the barrels
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When the hatstand might his Quietus make
With a biscuit-barrel? Who would eat its contents,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hue of Resolution
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of Thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their Currents turn awry,
And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons
Be all my sins remembered the hatstand aardvark biscuit-barrel
An Aardvark are grey/brown in colour with yellow and white tinges to their coat whilst their fur is sparse and bristly. They have a distinctive curved back, powerful limbs and large, shovel-like claws.
Aardvarks are a distinctively looking animal as they have very large ears and a long snout with a small, tubular mouth. Their tongue is long and sticky and their nostrils are protected by hair to prevent dust from entering them when they are digging. However Aardvarks have poor eyesight but amazing hearing and a good sense of smell, which helps them to locate their food. Adult Aardvarks only have molar teeth, their incisors and canines fall out when they are young and are not re-grown.
more facts
hatstand - an English term for hatrack
aardvark - a nocturnal burrowing mammal with long ears, a tubular snout, and a long extensible tongue, feeding on ants and termites. Aardvarks are native to Africa and have no close relatives. Also called ant bear . • Orycteropus afer, the only living member of the family Orycteropidae and orderTubulidentata.
biscuit barrel - a tin which stores biscuits
Aardvark Joke 1
What is uglier than an aardvark?
Two aardvarks!
Aardvark Joke 2
What does the aardvark call his dog? Aard-bark!
Aardvark Joke 3
What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote? One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller!
Aardvark Joke 4
Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants? Ronald MacAardvark!
Aardvark Joke 5
What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium? An aard-shark!
Aardvark Joke 6
What does an aardvark get when he overeats? Ant-digestion!
Aardvark Joke 7
What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion? Anta-Seltzer!
Aardvark Joke 8
Who’s the aardvark’s favorite female vocalist? Bearbara Streis-ant!
Aardvark Joke 9
Who’s aardvark’s favorite male singer? Frank Sinostril!
Aardvark Joke 10
What are the aardvark’s favorite Beatle’s songs? It’s Been an Aards Day’s Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!
Aardvark Joke 11
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? An aardvark with the sniffles!
Aardvark Joke 12
What does an aardvark use when he has a cold? An ant-ihistamine!
Aardvark Joke 13
What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails? Snout about!
Aardvark Joke 14
What does the aardvark take sailing? An aard ark!
Aardvark Joke 15
How do ants hide from aardvarks? They disguise themselves as uncles!
Aardvark Joke 16
Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants? They can stick to the subject!
Aardvark Joke 17
Why was Easter the aardvark’s favorite holiday? Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!
Aardvark Joke 18
What has 200 legs, 50 noses, and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks!
Aardvark Joke 19
Where does the aardvark family always come first? In the phone book!
Aardvark Joke 20
What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks? A snout bout!
Aardvark Joke 21
What do you call an aardvark that’s just won a fight? A well aardvark!
Aardvark Joke 22
What do you call an aardvark that’s just lost a fight? A vark!
Aardvark Joke 23
What do you call an aardvark that’s been thrown out of a pub? A barredvark!
Aardvark Joke 24
What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace? A guardvark!
Aardvark Joke 25
What do you call an aardvark in a frying pan? A lardvark!
Aardvark Joke 26
What do you call a pickled aardvark? A jarredvark!
Aardvark Joke 27
What do you call an aardvark that plays poker? A cardvark!
Aardvark Joke 28
What do you call a thick-skinned aardvark? A hardvark!
Aardvark Joke 29
What do you call an aardvark good with a light saber? A darthvark!
Aardvark Joke 30
What do you call an aardvark that writes poems? A bardvark!
Aardvark Joke 31
Why can elephants swim – and aardvarks can t? Aardvarks don’t have trunks!
Aardvark Joke 32
What did the aardvark say when he lost the race to the ant? If you can’t beat em, eat em!
Aardvark Joke 33
Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck, but the aardvark won by a nose!
Aardvark Joke 34
Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal? Because he ate his ant for dinner!
Aardvark Joke 35
When is an aardvark jumpy? When he’s got ants in his pants!
Aardvark Joke 36
Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbours? Because they always have their noses in other people’s business!
Aardvark Joke 37
What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A yardvark!
Aardvark Joke 38
What do you call an road construction aardvark? A tarredvark!
Aardvark Joke 39
What do you call an aardvark astronaut? A starredvark!
Aardvark Joke 40
What do you call an aardvark that’s good at golf? A paredvark!
Aardvark Joke 41
How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant? Six… three on the back and three in the trunk!
Aardvark Joke 42
What did the impatient waiter ask the gluttonous aardvark? Is that your final ant, sir! Aardvark Joke 43 What do you call a Polish aardvark? A Polaark!
Aardvark Joke 44
Who has a long nose, wears a mask, and sits tall in the saddle? The Lone Aardvark!
Aardvark Joke 45
Who is the Lone Aardvark’s faithful Indian companion? Tanto
Aardvark Joke 46
Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.
Aardvark Joke 47
I’ve got a new aardvark. Would you like to play with him? I don’t really know. I’ve heard it growling, it doesn’t sound very friendly. Does it bite? That’s what I want to find out.
Aardvark Joke 48
What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail? A man holding an aardvark.
Aardvark Joke 49
A man wanted a new aardvark so he looked through the classified ads. He phoned a number he found and an elderly lady answered. “How much are your aardvarks?” he asked. “They re L6 each,” came the reply. “Did you raise them yourself?” inquired the man. “Oh yes,” she said, “Yesterday they were only L5 each.”
Aardvark Joke 50
How do you define an aardvark? Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater!
Aardvark Joke 51
Which aardvark holds the speed record? The nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!
Aardvark Joke 52
Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows? It’s the VCRdvard
low cost - cheap leased lines
for more information
We have 11 guests and no members online
12 ways to improve your Page Ranking
20th Sept 2011
Ways to improve your inbound links
from google which will revolutionise your Adwords campaign
start using Google + and understand the benefits,
Suite 24
Bicester Business Park
Telford Road,
Bicester,
OX26 4LA
